When it comes to schools, you can’t beat a school office manager

Delivering your firstborn child to their first day of kindergarten is a momentous event. you need a good team behind you — a patient teacher, a focused principal, a school psychologist armed with a strong will and stronger muscles and, most important, someone who can fast forward you as quickly as possible to the “someday we’re gonna look back at this and laugh” stage. For me that person has been Chris Metzger.

Delivering your firstborn child to their first day of kindergarten is a momentous event, especially if that child chooses that day to throw their first ever tantrum, taking it to near catatonic heights of hysteria. I also know that in that moment of parental sweatiness you need a good team behind you — a patient teacher, a focused principal, a school psychologist armed with a strong will and stronger muscles and, most important, someone who can fast forward you as quickly as possible to the “someday we’re gonna look back at this and laugh” stage.

For me that person has been Chris Metzger, better known as “Mrs. Chris,” the Medina Elementary School office manager who began her well-deserved retirement this month. She was there for the “first day” and every day for all three of our kids and thousands more over the past 15 years.

She surveyed our school from her cockpit shaped office, a comforting presence to all who entered walking, or stumbling in from the playground mouth open in a silent scream ready to reveal a social injustice or super icky skinned knee. Mrs. Chris was Ground Control, err rather Playground Control.

I know for sure that I am just one of a legion of parents who not only relied upon her genuine smile, sweet calm and surreal patience, but also probably took her skill and presence for granted. She allowed us to do that with her deft handling of teachers, parents, kids, community and administrators alike — dousing her every interaction with word sparkles, eye twinkles and understanding giggles.

As a surprise retirement gift, the school staff produced a brilliant parody of her daily travails; yes, I know for sure you can’t see it. But rest assured it is hilarious and I know I made every single one of those comedic phone calls at least twice (“Since when does school let out early on Wednesday?”)

Mrs. Chris was always the first stop and the miracle that prevented the second stop: PANIC! I am grateful for her loving management of my dusty human groundhog and for faking calm even as we had to call the police to find my daughter (Sistafoo) after she misplaced herself in kindergarten. I am slightly less grateful that she taught my kids my cell number.

I know for sure that Mrs. Chris is irreplaceable. But I also know for sure that she is one of many irreplaceable, unique, and loving everyday heroes working with and for our kids in our schools. Mrs.Chris is known for her enthusiastic fandom: Seahawks, Huskies, kids and Oprah. But I know for sure her real legacy is the generation of fans and admirers she leaves in the cheerful wake of her vital work in our school district.

 

Follow Heija on Twitter (@Heija), friend her on Facebook or silently judge her life at her blog The Worst Mother in the World (www.Heija.com).